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“Highway to Hell?” by Blade Brown

While slightly paraphrasing, the passage to John 8:7 reads: “May he who is without sin cast the first stone“. This is one of the most quoted bible verses. Mainly because everyone uses it as an excuse to justify their sins. Growing up, I always questioned the validity of certain passages or even the Ten Commandments themselves. But growing up underneath my mother’s house, I learned to go with the flow and not question my Lord and savior. But the older I got, the more questions I had. And to this day, a lot of things don’t add up.

If you’re thinking from an unbiased an objective point of view, you will clearly see the bible as one big fat contradiction. We are taught that our Lord is the most high and most forgiving. Yet, we’re given a list of commandments to follow that is almost impossible for any human being to abide by. You can be the best person you can be, but at some point you’ve broken one of the Ten Commandments. “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour” simply means DON’T LIE. How many lies have you told just this week? “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord Thy God in vain“. Ironically, to prove you aren’t lying, most people will “Swear To God” to prove their innocence. I won’t go through all ten commandments, but I’m sure there is at least three commandments that each reader has broken.

Although I am going to leave the Ten Commandments alone, there are literally dozens of passages that are almost certainly the average person is not abiding by. So I’ve compiled a list of a select few to share with the readers.

Corinthians 7:10-11
To be married I give this charge (not I but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

Translation: If you’re having marital problems, work it out. Divorce is not accepted in the eyes of the Lord.

Mark 10:11-12
Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another committeth adultery: And whoever merrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

Translation: If you divorce your wife, you’re not allowed to remarry. And if your lady is divorced, you cannot “put a ring on it“.

Leviticus 19:27
You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads nor harm the edges of your beard.

Translation: If you’ve ever had a fade in your life, you’re going to hell. Your goatee or five o’clock shadow will also get you denied at the pearly gates. Share this verse with your barber.

Leviticus 3:17
It shall be perpetual statute for generations throughout all your dwellings that ye eat neither fat or blood.

Translation: That Whopper from Burger King is literally to die for. Because on top of being unhealthy, its forbidden by the almighty. This one hits me right in the feels personally. No food satisfies my like a burger or a juicy steak.

Leviticus 11:7-8
And the pig, because it parts the hoof and is cloven-footed but does not chow the cud, is unclean to you. You shall not eat any of their flesh, and you shall not touch their carcasses; they are unclean to you.

Translation: Stay away from the swine. Its slop that shouldn’t enter your body.

Leviticus 19:16
Thou shalt not go up and down as talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbor; I am the Lord.

Translation: Don’t be a chatty Patty. Gossiping and spreading rumors is a no-no. So pretty much all police informants are doomed.

Leviticus 18:22
Thou shalt not lay with mankind as with womankind: it is abomination.

Translation: Gays aren’t welcome in club heaven. This is pretty much a well known topic that is discussed daily. Me personally, I feel a person should be able to love whomever they love. But I’m not God, so what do I know?
Leviticus 19:28
Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.

Translation: Wiz Khalifa better enjoy life to the fullest. Because based on this passage, things don’t look good for him. And all you ladies that have several piercings, hope they were worth it.

1 Timothy 2:9
I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety. Adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles, or gold or pearls or expensive clothes.

Translation: Nelly, the St. Lunatics and every single woman in the “Tipdrill” music video are gonna burn. Actually, I don’t know a woman who hasn’t shopped at Victoria Secret. That clothing is anything but modest. All these fancy clothes and jewels that both sexes clamor for these days, almost no one is safe.

1 Corinthians 6:18
Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the seriously immoral person sins against his own body.

Translation: No self pleasurement? This will ruin so many lives. Also, countless teenage boys have no chance at paradise. And they never had a shot.

Those are just a few that I felt the need to share. But trust me, there is plenty more where that came from! I intentionally didn’t mention sex before marriage because that is widely acknowledged as a sin. Now before I get branded a bunch of things I’m not, I would like to point that in fact, I do believe in God. And although I may not have the strongest relationship, its something I am working on. But just coming from an realistic mindset, the verses that I just laid out for you make a good case for most of us to be headed to the deep south when our number is up.

Then again, the Lord is forgiving. As long as you repent and accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior, you will be saved. That, I’ve always found to be shaky. Why set all these rules for us to live by, just to allow us to sin, then let us in the pearly gates if we accept him as the almighty? It makes no sense to make rules, that are more or less going to be broken.

But like I said, this is just my thoughts on the subject. I sin almost daily, and I know I do. But I also do my best to be a good person. I work hard and I try to set the best example for my daughters that I can. But no matter what I do, from the looks of things, I may be burning for eternity when I pass away. Because the voice in the back of my head doesn’t see the point of making these commandments and bible verses, knowing that they’re almost impossible to keep from doing. Now I know that the bible is written by man. Probably why there are so many versions of it. But isn’t man made in his image?

I’m certain I will get destroyed by a lot of people for even writing this article. To those people I ask: How forgiving is your God really? What happens to a changed man who dies in a cell? What happens to a police officer who’s forced to kill in the line of duty? If you have the answers, please share. I am all ears. Until then, I will continue to be the best person I can be and take care of my family. I don’t know what happens when this life ends. So I plan in making the most of it while I can.

Follow Blade Brown aka @DaGeneralGDub on Twitter

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"Highway To Hell"Blade Brown

brandonw • June 29, 2015

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