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“Get Funk Flex The Eff Outta Here” by BMW

So by now you have heard Hot 97’s Funk Master Flex’s rant about Jay-z’s lifeandtimes.com from last week. I just want to start by saying Get Funk Flex the F*Ck Outta Here! I’m not about to defend Jay-z he can do that on his own & I will bet some sort of response will come from all this. Then again maybe not & that in and of itself would be one of the more hilarious responses. As the saying goes “Elephants don’t swat flies” or more specifically “I’m in the air I don’t hear n*ggas corny raps” (Or rants in this instance….  ) I just really want to talk to Mr Funk Master Flex for a moment…..

Flex if you are so “digital“… as you have said ad-nauseam during your rants over the last few years…. If this is the case then elaborate as to exactly how “digital” you are.  Are you so “digital” that you’re coding writing? What could be more “digital” than that? Being as “digital” as you state that you are would imply that you are in some way a designer/innovator or possibly a developer? I really doubt you write code and we KNOW Jay doesn’t write raps so I’d bet my last buck that he nor Bey, Tah Tah,  Emory or anyone else in his top layer of 17 layers of people are writing code. Its simple, just like YOU paid someone to write the code for the Funk Flex App, Samsung did the same. But then again I could be wrong you are so “digital” that you don’t even tweet for yourself as we found out during Hot 97’s VH1 show (that was TRASH). Just an FYI, any fool with a twitter “@” & an email address can sign up for Hoote Suite & schedule tweets. Good brother Flexington, please make this make sense, if  someone stole what was proprietary or even unique to you, from your app why aren’t you suing? YOU KNOW how much Samsung paid Jay! Apple, Google & Microsoft spend millions in court battling over patents, and possibly stolen intellectual property.  You haven’t because you cut a check to Fame House to design the app & had nothing to do with anything that you could actually bring suit for.

What bothers me the most is this, you’re mentioning the app thing now & it dropped in 2013. I find it funny that you wait until now to mention this. I want to know why you held on to the info for 18+ months…. this move is basically  a chick tweeting screen shots of DMs & texts from over a year ago  when a dude was trying to smash back then, after seeing he now has a girl & their pics are all over the TL. Pull your skirt down Flex. I respect you as a legend, you’ve helped many eat. Many including Jay have credited you with helping boost their careers  and you’ve had some iconic moments in hip hop radio while helping establish Hot 97 as the #1 hip hop station in the world. I’d like to know why exactly you as a black man feel proud to say “That will be a feather in my cap if I tear you down“. For you to say that more than once the other night is disturbing to me. So as a man in his late 40s  you’re pleased to hold on to possible dirty laundry about another man & hope to use this info to ruin him?  Am I the only one who realizes how ridiculous that sounds? Aren’t you the one who said “I ain’t just up here trying to get paid off the craft by tearing everybody else down“.

So “Is it Ouchie Wally or is it one Mic?
I understand what you are attempting to do & it makes for good radio I’m sure the ratings have spiked the good people at Emmis are happy.  Don’t pretend like we as the fans don’t see the chinks in the armor. We saw you back pedal with Nicki Minaj after the Summer Jam Fiasco, worse than Jason Seahorn. The entire interview your voice was set to Soprano.

Hot 97 is #1 for hip hop because of what you have DONE…. not because of what you are doing. The resume is amazing but the regular out put recently? Not so much. All this said Flex, you won, I’m blogging as many others are, I tuned in at-least once this week which I never do. For that you can claim victory. But we see the jig creating a “beef” right before a tour & music is to be released, oh how very 2002 of you Flex.

A few quick points & I’m gone(also peep the screen shots)

  • We know Dipset reunited & plans a tour, a tape & an album. My money is on Jim Jones making you do some old school gang style intiation into Dipset, by forcing you to diss Jay like everyone else on their team has.
  • You received a text that you say is from Jay you were upset because the text contained “all caps” & not even the entire text just the word “HOV”. my 14 year old daughter agrees with this.
  • The back pedaling you did Saturday night was unreal. I’m glad you chose not to take the “I’ll ruin your career” route.
  • You are angered by a man’s laugh, “I take that laugh as disrespect“. Same laugh that Kanye sampled on “Last Call”? Seems legit. Again though my teenage daughter agrees
  • You are right you don’t need Jay anymore, Angie left for Power 105.1 so the chances of you getting an interview with Jay now are slim to none & slim walked out the door a few months ago.
  • Imagine if you used this same effort & energy to try to discredit someone to break some new artists or songs?
  • Finally, having an app and a website associated with it is not remotely new you didn’t set the trend.


You can clearly see the digital company Fame House is credited as the developer of the Funk Flex App

You can clearly see the digital company Fame House is credited as the developer of the Funk Flex App

Look what else Fame House is credited with. NO shots at Slim Shady though?

Look what else Fame House is credited with. NO shots at Slim Shady though?


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10.00 avg. rating (97% score) - 1 vote
Funk FlexHot 97

brandonw • January 23, 2015

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